


i'm sorry, i love you

by CASE94FEST, outerspace (xundaeism)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, I'm Sorry, Just angst, M/M, stripper do kyungsoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24185656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CASE94FEST/pseuds/CASE94FEST, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xundaeism/pseuds/outerspace
Summary: It is never okay again.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Oh Sehun
Comments: 7
Kudos: 23
Collections: CASE–94: Round One





	i'm sorry, i love you

**Author's Note:**

> // This piece was written for the first round of CASE–94 a Fest for Oh Sehun. //
> 
> Hi! Sorry! I'm very sorry!

The temperature is high, the place is small. Kyungsoo hates performing in houses because a house is not a stage and the stage is his best friend, a house filled with a bunch of straight men is not. 

"We didn't forget about you," he hears the distant, muffled laugh of the guy who hired him. Jongdae is his name. They only spoke over the phone once, but the guy's got a distinctive voice. "Mister! Please, come out!"

That’s his call.

His bright red high heels clink and pierce the flooring, following the beat of the song he recognises as the Lady Marmalade instrumental they use as an intro.

They're doing fun and sexy tonight.

Two black velvet curtains cover the entirety of the entrance to the hallway and Kyungsoo doesn't hesitate to open them and show himself, letting the tight carmine satin suit speak for itself. Immediately he sees Jongdae smile and hit a guy's stomach with his elbow.

"Girls and boy, the stage is yours," Jongdae says, but before Kyungsoo and the girls get to continue, he adds, yelling: "by the way, Mister, this is the gay!"

The poor young boy sitting on Jongdae's left looks mortified… but hot. In fact, they're all good looking, very different kinds of beauty, but beautiful, after all.

"Got it," Kyungsoo giggles.

He knew who "the gay" was because Jongdae made sure to send him a few pictures for reference because, quoting him "nobody else wants a dick near their dick, only him, only Sehun wants that". And Sehun will get that.

Kyungsoo gets back in position.

"Five, six, seven, eight…"

His first mistake is forgetting his wallet at the client’s house. His second mistake is going unannounced to get it. His third mistake is flirting with the client as soon as he opened the door. Finally, his last mistake is sucking him off as a way of thanking him for returning the wallet unharmed.

At least Kyungsoo got a full name this time. Oh Sehun.

Turns out, this city is really small and Kyungsoo’s circle of friends has a wide variety of people, because the afternoon Baekhyun invites him to his birthday party he finds out Oh Sehun is invited as well. The same Oh Sehun that saw him dance in heels and a suit, the same Oh Sehun with the big cock he sucked dry, that Oh Sehun. He is not completely sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Kyungsoo would like very much to get fucked by Oh Sehun, and Baekhyun’s birthday party sounds like the place to try and make his wish come true, after all, the dude seems chill.

What’s the worst thing that could happen?

The worst thing happens.

Kyungsoo finds Oh Sehun at Baekhyun’s party, that’s the nice part. Oh Sehun splits him open that night, that’s another nice part. But Kyungsoo keeps seeing Oh Sehun everywhere, it’s like he invokes him by just thinking of him. And Kyungsoo thinks of Oh Sehun quite often.

The downside of the situation is he finds him at very public places and all they do is talk. Sehun tells him about his job: he works as a legal assistant at a nice firm, well paid but he’s got no time to live. Sehun also tells him about his dog: Vivi. Kyungsoo thought it was a girl-dog because of the name but when he mentioned it Sehun looked offended as fuck. Kyungsoo has told him about his _other_ job, like, besides the stripper thing. He’s an online assistant. They bond over the assistant occupation.

That. There’s the problem. They bond.

Kyungsoo is not looking for bonds with the people he fucks, even though Sehun and him have fucked only once.

The heartache grows after one particular day that Sehun and his law-firm-friends invite Kyungsoo to a bar after work. Now, Kyungsoo is bad with names so he doesn’t remember anyone but it doesn’t matter anyway because they all disperse after half an hour of drinking at the table.

"Hey." Kyungsoo presses his palm on Sehun's chest. "I need a smoke, join me?"

He knows Sehun doesn't like it when he smokes but he, too, knows Sehun is tired of scolding him whenever he even mentions a pack of cigarettes. However, Sehun gives the impression of growing tired of any idiotic decisions Kyungsoo keeps taking, after failing at the same task, over and over again. So, Sehun nods. Lips pressed in a line, turning white at the edges where his teeth bite to keep them in place. Something he does every time he is stopping himself from talking, Kyungsoo has learned.

It's quiet, the walk from their table to the outside of the bar. It's quiet, as Kyungsoo takes the pack and lighter from a hidden pocket on the inside of his coat. It's still quiet, so quiet, when he catches Sehun gazing at him with the fond, profound look he's slowly getting accustomed to.

He lits his cigarette. Oh, how he wishes it was another kind of smoke. This shit only takes some anxiousness out of his system, but he still worries, still hurts.

"I know you like me," Kyungsoo mutters before sucking the cigarette deep.

They are staring at each other, that's why the sudden change of color on Sehun's cheeks is so noticeable. His eyes wide a bit, as well. His beautiful small mouth trembles. Sehun has never looked so vulnerable, and Kyungsoo is about to break him.

"And I-" he breathes, "you're so kind, you-you're really handsome, y-"

"I get it." Sehun gulps, looks at his feet. Kyungsoo can barely hear him.

"Just... being your friend-"

"I understand-" Sehun interrupts.

But Kyungsoo has more to say: "We're good friends, I don't wanna ru-"

"I said I get it," finally, Sehun snaps. He takes a step back, keeping his strong but lost gaze on the ground.

"Sehunnie-" Kyungsoo whispers.

"I'm going inside for a drink, if you don't mind." And Kyungsoo has never seen him walk, leave so determined.

By the time he decides to let himself inside again, their table is taken and Sehun is nowhere to be seen. Maybe he left. Alone. Or with somebody else.

"Hey, man," the bartender reaches out to him. "There's someone giving your friend a hard time. They're around the buffet table."

Kyungsoo nods and gives the man a small smile before walking towards the food area. Once there, it's easy to spot Sehun. He's cornered, eating something and nodding as a shorter man standing in front of him talks. 

"I was looking for you," Kyungsoo says and smiles, not giving a second look to the old guy trying to hit shamelessly on Sehun. God, he should know Sehun is way out of his league.

"Oh." Sehun shifts on his feet.

"Let's get you home, come on," Kyungsoo says and takes his hand, pulling Sehun closer to him.

"Sorry," Sehun mutters to the man giving him an apologetic look.

They walk out. Wander around the streets. They do this all the time but instead of being quiet they talk, they both talk a lot. First, they ramble and then they go home. But this time Kyungsoo doesn’t say a word and Sehun doesn’t wander, instead, he turns to the street that leads to Kyungsoo’s building.

"I'm dropping you off first," Kyungsoo says and motions his hands to take the path to Sehun's house.

Sehun sighs. "Your place is closer," he retorts. 

"Yes, but I'm the eldest, I should make sure you get home safe."

"I'm bigger and stronger, I can take care of myself."

"Sehun-" Kyungsoo groans, but gets interrupted before he can continue.

"I'm taking you home, can't you give me that?" Sehun hisses.

He’s angry. At Kyungsoo or at himself, who knows?

They keep walking soundlessly until they get to Kyungsoo's building.

"You know," Sehun says, "you got it wrong because I don't _like_ you."

Kyungsoo’s head bolts up in confusion. If Sehun doesn’t like him why would he get mad about it?

"I am in love with you."

And then it dawns on him.

"Sehunnie,” he whispers, “I don-"

"Don't pity me," Sehun snickers. "I'll get over it."

No.

Don’t get over it.

"I might just need time," he continues, "away from you."

No.

"Yeah, of course."

No.

"Take care."

Don’t go.

Sehun leaves.

Kyungsoo takes the stairs because the elevator is always crowded and he doesn't want anyone to see him cry. When he steps in his apartment he stumbles to the bedroom and throws himself on the bed, pulls the covers and lies there uncomfortably. Jeans too tight, shirt too loose. Always trying to look good for Sehun, trying to be good for him, trying too hard. Sehun deserves someone who doesn't try. Sehun deserves someone who is.

And Kyungsoo isn’t. He isn’t too many things.

Sehun deserves a lot.

So it’s okay if it’s not Kyungsoo.

He will be okay, he always is.

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel maybe??? WHO KNOWS!!!


End file.
